Criminal Mastermind Is A Title These Guys Will Never Be Awarded!
When a robber plans a heist you’d expect them to get detailed information about the targets and then make their moves. Well these guys… it’s clear they are not the sharpest tools in the shed but they give even the dumb ones a bad name. Who in their right mind goes to rob a house and then falls asleep in it or robs a bank and then puts the video on YouTube bragging about the robbery! Welcome to a collection of some of the dumbest criminals you will ever have the pleasure of reading about! Enjoy!
1. Suspect calls 911 after breaking into the victim’s house fearing for his safety. You will never conceive the heights of this criminal’s genius. What would you do when you’re in the midst of a crime and were concerned for the safety of your life when it’s usually transpires the other way around? Well according to Mr. Timothy James you do what every average Joe would you call 911. Suspect Timothy James broke into a home in Portland Oregon. Things turned awry when the owner retuned while the suspect was in his shower and called the police stating he’s afraid the home owner may be in possession of a handgun
2. Burglary is crime if it only ensues in the dark and in the light of day it’s just people going about their business. Right!! Just so we’re clear robbery is a crime no matter when it’s being committed. This guy believes his lack of foresight with law led to his unwarranted arrest. James Blankenship was trying to break into his mother’s house against her will. upon being discovered by his mother the accused fled the scene and was found hiding under a crawl space not far from his mother’s house which is when he told the police he didn’t think he could be arrested as he thought it was night time
3. Butt dial bandit strikes again. This suspect butt dialed his way to an arrest! You know if you have your heart set on being a criminal the least you could do is not suck at it. Getting caught on account of a butt dial is just wrong. It all went down on a Wednesday night in Sidney. The suspect Douglas Wolaver was attempting to break into a house through a window when his unfortunate butt misdialed the 911.the dispatcher realized the call was from a cell phone and fearing the worst sent the deputies to the crime scene where the suspect sat hiding inside the house.
4. The best Facebook addict has nothing on this guy. This guy logged in to Facebook while robbing an internet café. Who wouldn’t want to update their profile whilst robbing the internet café? These guys give the word criminal a black eye. While robbing the cash register at the internet café this guy couldn’t resist the lure of his likes and logged into his account in the midst of the robbery which led to his arrest. I don’t think we have any cause to fear the wrath of deviant criminals anymore.
5. Word to the wise, don’t put down you’re real name in an application if you’ve just threatened to rob the place… Builds bad rapport. On Wednesday afternoon Cody Conner, 17, walked into a sex shop in Florida pulled out a gun and demanded money. The owner tried to talk the boy down and offered him a job and a new way of life after much deliberation the boy called it quits on his criminal ways and decided to give it a go and put down his real name in the application that led to the his arrest. In all fairness the owner did deceive him with a job.
6. I’ll take my money to go please… Time management is an inherent part of bank robbery hence these criminals called ahead to have their money to go in case they has other errands to run. Police in Connecticut were left befuddled by the actions of one Albert Bailey of Fairfield Connecticut when he called the bank and informed them to have the money out for transport then turned up to rob the bank which led to his arrest.
7. Inverted shawshank…Most sane people strive to get out of prison but not these geniuses who couldn’t wait to get in. Guess it shows the lengths people will go to, to get their hands on a plasma TV. These guys in New Zealand broke into a prison to steal a 50 inch plasma TV.
8. Talk about bringing a knife to a gun fight. Man tries to rob a gun store with a knife. A 57 year old green field man tried to rob a gun store while being armed with a knife using a duct tape as a disguise. The disguise didn’t do much for him as he attempted to rob the gun store with a knife point.
Image Source http://www.nydailynews.com
9. The days of returning to the scene of the crime are long past…now you can relive the glory days by boasting about it on YouTube. Within hours of Waco bank robbery Hannah Sabata couldn’t wait to get the word out of her latest exploits and decided to post a video on YouTube where she’s seen fanning herself with $100 bills and brags about stealing a car and holding up a bank.
10. If you plan on robbing a bank, GET A BAG!! Man foiled his bank robbery attempt by lack of bag for the money. Joseph Alan Price of Okeechobee county walked into PNC bank and messed up a bank robbery since he couldn’t remember to get a bag for all the money he was going to divest the bank of.in hindsight granted he had to plan the intricacies of the robbery but it would have just taken him a second to grab a bag right.so close!!
11. The possum defense… A robber tried to fool the police and tried to make a break for it by playing dead in a funeral home. A robber broke into a funeral place in Burjasoot outside Valencia and tried to deceive the police by playing dead. Police didn’t seem too convinced by the act as the corpse appeared to be breathing at the time.
12. Calling ahead before showing up to a place is just good manners, but in case you intend to rob the place like Daniel Glen its idiocy at its best. In 2008 Daniel Glen was charged with robbing a convenience store in Windsor Ontario after he called ahead to inquire about the remnants of the cash register before showing up. The clerk expecting an inevitable robbery alerted the authorities.
13. Nobody’s invincible; to 18 year old Peter Addison this lesson came at a great price or at epic stupidity depends the way you look at it. Peter Addison of Heaton Mersey Sackport vandalized a children campsite and decided to sign his name on it. Guess he was operating under the assumption of every great artist have to sign their work, which made it easy for the police to track him down.
14. This guy drove his stolen car straight to jail. A 37 year old man implicated himself in an auto theft charge when he showed up to court with a stolen Lexus.
15. You really shouldn’t drink and celebrate a heist as it could lead to an arrest. A 37 year old man in Dusselford Germany was caught when he got drunk with an expensive bottle of champagne to celebrate a successful burglary and made an erroneous decision to sleep it off on the side of the road.
16. Hitch a ride in haste and repent at leisure. Car thief suspect hitches a ride to jail from an undercover cop. 31 year old Lloyd Wright abandoned his stolen car which was in pursuit by the police and asked an undercover cop for a ride that led him straight to jail.
17. This man tried his hand at bank robbery with a macaroni box disguised as a bomb. Anyone care to venture a guess with the outcome?? Mark Anthony a carpenter was arrested by the police when his valiant attempt to rob a bank with a macaroni box turned awry. The suspect held the bank at Mocksville hostage with a macaroni box disguised as a bomb and when the teller refused to cooperate he tried to flee the scene but was caught by the police.
18. This guy did the crime and wrote about the time… when you do the crime you don’t waste your time writing about it that’s why he gets the coveted spot of number 18 on our list. Polish author Krystian Bala couldn’t resist writing about his transgressions after murdering Dariusz in 2000 which led the police to unearth the similarities between the plot and the actual murder.
19. Perils of falling asleep on the job. He fell asleep while burglarizing a place. He sure was tired. Be sure to get a goodnights rest before you show up to rob a place. Unlike Mark Smith who was convicted after he was found asleep under the victim’s bed.
Image Source http://www.telegraph.co.uk
20. This guy felt an inane need to post his unsavory exploits on social media… When you rob someone you don’t rub their faces in it by posting the images on Facebook and befriending them to complete their humiliation…yikes!!! Since robbing the victim of his worldly possessions is not adequate anymore, Juan Gonzales Jr had the gall to befriend the said victim on Facebook, so he could witness all his stolen possession nestled in Juan’s lair. This act of sheer foolishness resulted in his long stay in prison.